Challenges and Concerns of Families for Mentally Retarded

Mental Retardation- the two words put together perpetuates offence of the worst variety. But then, can its existence be denied?

Looking at the surge in the cases off late, clearly not. Yet, there are people, especially parents, children or relatives of the people affected by it who can’t bring themselves to deal with the situation. Acceptance, denial, self-blame- these are only few of the roadblocks that come in the way of a comprehensive solution to the malaise, says a special education teacher.

          Acceptance:

Once the news of the child’s inability to learn and grow as a normal kid breaks out, the family of the child finds it but difficult to come to terms with the situation. While many families tend to go from one doctor to another to for a cure, they forget that mental retarded is not a disease but a syndrome caused by genetic factors. The parents need to take action to enable the child to make most of his potential by involving him in all activities. Taking him to doctors and seeking medication for him won’t do any good.

           Self-blame:

More often than not, parents blame themselves for the condition of their child, says a teacher from a mentally retarded school. They feel that it is their lack of care and concern that the child is being made to bear the brunt of.

             Stigma:

Prejudices and stigma associated with the condition stall the growth of the child more than anything else does. Most parents feel that it is a matter of shame that their child is not like others. As a result, they keep their children in confines of their homes and seldom allow them to live a normal life.

      Behaviour problems:

Not all parents can take the condition in their stride and take care of it patiently. Patience wears thin when parents have to put up with the odd behaviour of their child in addition to handling house chores and work.

Hiring Domestic Help in a Family with a Special Child

Taking care of a special child can become a little overwhelming you are trying to manage all fronts of life alone. Parenthood becomes a full time job while work and family stay just as engaging as they ever were. So, hiring domestic help to smoothen things out is only obvious. But before you do that you must realize that they will be your extended family. And being a part of your home, they need to share a friendly equation. Especially, if your child will be dependent on the helper or the arrangement includes him spending time alone with your child then it is extremely important that you have the right person for the job, says a teacher at a special school.

However, judging a book by its cover can be difficult. So here are a few tips to help you read between the lines and hire someone who is compassionate as well as skilled.

• Foremost, make sure that the concerned person at least has some basic education. Looking for that in India can be comparatively costlier but not difficult. This will ensure that if need be, you can rely on the person to access emergency help, time your kid’s medication, and a lot of other things advices a teacher at a mentally challenged school.

• Look for someone who preferably has worked with kids in the house, if not special children.

• Try to assess from their reaction, what they feel about your child and his disability.

• Ask them if they could manage taking care of the child if you were away for a while, even if you never intend to do so. Their reaction and body language will give you a fair idea.

• Word of recommendation from previous employers matters. Try to find their work history.

• Police verification is mandatory. Get your domestic help registered at your nearest police station, if you haven’t done that already.

• Explain to them the exact nature of responsibilities they are expected to take care of.

My Observation on 'Special' Children - Part 2

In conjunction to my last blog, titled as my observation on ‘special’ children, here’s what I personally feel and simultaneously, offer you my lenses to analyze both situations and comment on how right it is to treat children, based on such baseless reasons. This is when a special school, MBCN i.e. Mata Bhagwanti Chadha Niketan came up with its helping hand.

I am not here to pass judgement; the only matter of concern is that what if a special school like MBCN has not enrolled the child, what have been the scenario? Do schools take admissions based on caste, creed, religion and considering how well of a child’s parents is. Well, to my understanding this is the last thing that can happen with a child and so as the guardian. The both of them are likely to get affected in the long term; the student would surely feel the difference now.

After all it’s about his career which cannot be compromised with in any way. Just because a student has some verbal concerns, school faculty is no one to say that he should be enrolled in mentally retarded school. If at one point of time, i agree to what’s being advised, let’s just make it very clear that autism is not a severe concern, based on which a child can be discriminated from society. It just that the child needs some to be taught in a specific way in comparison to the counterparts and this problem can be recovered, if the child is given apt treatment. Correction, it’s not treatment, its care. And that’s what a child needs from school.

I have not brought up both of these cases to favor a home for mentally challenged or show agony against any schools, but yes, i would make a special request that no child should be discriminated or favored based on from which family he belongs to. Stop this social plague, it’s likely to ruin our future generation.

My Observation on 'Special' Children - Part 1

I am Shruti, working as a financial consultant with a private based firm in Delhi. Follow up of my blog will present before two different cases:

Case (1)

My boss’s child; around 9 years is though sweet, is a classic exemplar of the aristocratic society. For the reason that he belongs to a well-off family, his father can afford worldly luxuries for him. Though he is nine, but is super sensitive. I have seen him, when he was only four. He would come to office and every single time he came, there was something that I found strange about him. Every time, i would think that there’s something missing. He was never one of the chubby and loud child, which was though hard to digest, atleast for me. I would think, does he have problems or he is just like that. He would keep staring at one direction and won’t cry much. At times, he would get very high, but now with change in time, things have had changed. Not much…to put it aptly. Later when his parents realized it, he was taken to doctors. He would get irritated with people around him. So, he was asked to enroll in a school, where he can be made sit with not more than 15 children. For the reason that he belong to a well off family, his father could make it. A separate section was opened for him, which is a big thing.

Case (2)

My friend’s daughter, who is just five, is as sweet as an angel, but she stammers and has some verbal concerns. When my friend filled form for her admission and took her for an interview, the reaction from schools of repute came to her as surprise. No school principal was ready to enroll her in school, saying she is not fit or won’t be able to adapt to the school environment. The basic idea was that she won’t be able to cope up. The reason being what…she stammers! Half the school principals ended up saying that she needs a special school for her.

Well, a lot more to say…but have saved it for my next post.

Make Your Special Child Enjoy Things in a Special Way

It’s been seen that whenever it comes to special children, many tend to sympathize with these children, which in reality is unsubstantial. These children are capable of anything and everything in the very same way as that to their counterparts. So, being parents, it’s your obligation to always make your child feel superior in every way, regardless of what’s happening around, says special education teacher. This you being his parents is the child’s biggest strength and if in any case, the world do not favours the child, he won’t be affected, but the day the child would feel left-out at home, he would begin cutting off from family, which eventually will affect in his recovery.

There are hundreds and thousands of ways via which you can make your child enjoy in the best way. You certainly need not to allot him/her a task or make him study all day long, indeed there’s a plethora of indoor games and other activities that can be tried out with the child at home. It’s acknowledged that being a guardian, you feel anxious as to whether you should allow the child to go out to park or its too cold outside that would definitely affect him badly. Remember, a kind might understand all these things, whenever you try to, but what about the innocent heart that coaxes him again and again to step out from home, says teacher of special school for disabled children. Well, certainly not! There are lot of things that can be done at home such as freeze dancing, ludo, piano playing session, puzzle games a lot more. Yes, the child may understand things differently, but he is equally capable of performing things with the similar zest in comparison to their counterparts.

High Calorie Diet for Special Children

In a world obsessed with ‘low calorie’, ‘zero fat’ and ‘skimmed’ stuff, it becomes really hard for parents of special children to switch to a high calorie diet. Usually high on medication, these children loose appetite and need substantial calories to back the heavy doses. But our mind is so attuned to the stereotypical ‘All calories are bad’ mode that it won’t budge. Even after having adopted the diet for some 3 years now, I still flinch while giving him an extra spoonful of sour cream or butter, but I guess some habits are hard to let go.

After conforming thrice to the dietician I could get myself to feed him the way he should be. Actually we have spent a generation avoiding calories and carbs, but think calories equals to energy and not cholesterol, advices a dietician at a special children school.

However, giving one member of the family high calories and rest of them normal or rather low calorie diet can add up to your kitchen woes. Cooking two separate meals every single time is not a very promising prospect but you can’t sacrifice anyone’s health for you ease. Well, the dietician at a school for mentally disabled found a middle way. You can add a calorie supplement to your child’s serving.

However, when on a high calorie diet, it gets easy to choose all the wrong by products in your high calorie meals. Brownies, ice-creams, junk food etc. may have much higher calorie content but they are unhealthy as it is. So learn to read the labels and get a fair idea of what you pick. Anything unprocessed and natural is usually good. Moreover, keep an eye on fibre content as well.

So, make healthy choices and modify them carefully according to your child’s likes and dislikes.

Why Special Schools are Better than Inclusive Education Programs?

You talk to an academician and they will tell you that lessons learned outside the school are usually more important than bookish knowledge. Academic lessons open your mind to observe and develop a pragmatic approach to life. And what we commonly refer to as life skills are though the crux of education system, are learned outside the classroom.

However, for children with physical impairments, the order of learning is just the reverse. Generally more sensitive and deliberate in their approach, life skills are among the first lessons to be taught. Schools for blind and special children incorporate their impairments in the course structure and formula methods likewise. This one fact alone rules out most points stated in favour of inclusive education.

However, should you still remain in doubt, consider this: you really want your child to feel socially included but at what cost. You wouldn't certainly dream of compromising vital self-dependence training and carefully grafted special skills within a course compatible to mainstream education. These are the pragmatic needs of your child and come foremost. And the harsh reality is that mainstream educational institutes in India lack the infrastructure and expertise to cater to your child’s needs. They can teach a sightless child brail, but it is only under a special education teacher can he learn to lead a truly independent life.

Besides, does the much overrated social inclusion of special children offer anything of value? The idealistic approach and reality are on two asymmetrical planes. His mates at school can be trained to pity their special classmates but respect is a value much deeper than that. Moreover, self-esteem and self-worth come before social acceptance, which is carefully worked upon by special education teachers. Once they are self-sufficient blossoming personalities, they will automatically gain respect elsewhere. And at their special school gives them the courage to try, for there will be others who perhaps are like them. They bond and understand that they are not alone-and this, is a powerful thought.

So, make the choice between a normal and special school wisely.